is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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