Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
