I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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