she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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