dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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