I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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