when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
