Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
