yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
