Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The power of my boobs compel you
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
