the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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