4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
