and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No subtext here. People are naked.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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