oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i out mim tonsoeep
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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