covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
