i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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