Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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