Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
