Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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