Do you still have your period?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
