Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
