im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
