yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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