i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
