Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
