Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
