my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
