I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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