yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
