just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize