It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
