do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
