I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he's gonorrhea incarnate
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
