I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
