so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am naked and annoyed.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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