how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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