I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
