You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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