Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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