butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
