Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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