none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize