im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
