So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
