You don't have asthma, your pregnant
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize