He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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