I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
