and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize