Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
