Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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