We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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