So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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