I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
