Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
