help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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