I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
