I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
