I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
