Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
