A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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