If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
