I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
