oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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