mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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