You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this just has baby written all over it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
