I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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