I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My vagina is very pro this idea
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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