I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
