You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
