NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
