I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
