There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
